Face Bigelow #71 - Bureau Of Bailout - House Free

I know there are probably a lot of people who were taken advantage of during the mortgage boom, but there were also many people who took great advantage of the situation and are still doing so. This comic is targeted at the later. The ones who worked in collusion with Wall street to swindle us all.

Transcript
Title: Bureau Of Bailout
Scam Artist: Wow, this is great! I bought this place with no money down.
Scam Artist: I defaulted on the mortgage so I didn't have to pay anything for a year until they finally kicked me out.
Scam Artist: And now that BOB stepped in to save me I can afford to buy a second house on pure speculation! BOB even offered to pay off my credit card bills!
Big: Here's your check
Scam Artist: Gucci here I come!

Face Bigelow #70 - Bureau Of Bailout - Kalifornya

During this financial crisis California finally passed a $103 Billion California State Budget. It dawned on me that the amount they are requesting to bail out these financial firms is almost six times the budget of the worlds sixth largest economy! It's like trying to think of the distance from hear to the nearest neighbor galaxy. You just can't fathom the amount. This just can't be right...?

Transcript:
Title: Bureau Of Bailout
Big: Okay, Okay. The crisis was a big ruse to get my house in the Hamptons and make sure my Goldman shares didn't disappear.
Big: But now I have this extra $600 billion to deal with. What to do? What to do?
Big: Wow, look at that! California just signed a $103 billion dollar budget and they are having all sorts of financial problems...
Big: Victor! Get Schwartzie on the phone. I want to see if he'll sell Kalifornya for $600 billion?
Victor: Or maybe we'll just call it a bailout..?

Face Bigelow #69 - Bureau Of Bailout - Credit Card Debt

Transcript:
Title: Bureau Of Bailout
Debtor: This Gucci purse didn't last as long as I thought it would and now I have $35,000 in credit card debt.
Big: But the purse still looks new.
Debtor: It is, but it went out of style after two weeks.
Big: Oh, now I see. That does sound like fraud. Here is a $35,000 bailout check.
Debtor: Great. One more thing. Can you make it out for $35,404? I need a new iPhone and a Latte...
Big: My pleasure

Face Bigelow #68 - Bureau Of Bailout - Big Check

This is aimed at both Dick Fuld and Henry Paulson. I don't know much about Fuld, but I have liked Paulson so I don't really think he's bad I just don't like the whole bailout and I do think he has a big conflict of interest having probably lost a ton of equity in the dropping shares of Goldman.

Transcript:
Title: Bureau Of Bailout
Big: Next! Oh hey, my good friend Richard. How can I help you?
Richard: I lost the $700 million I made selling bad mortgage debt.
Big: You came to the right place and used the right buzz words. Mortgage and Debt. After buying a house in the hamptons and bailing out my own Goldman shares I have some money left over for you.
Big: Here's a check for $700 Million. Stop back again if you run into more trouble...
Richard: Wow, that was easy! I guess I can get that new yacht after all...

Face Bigelow #67 - BOB - Bureau Of Bailout

Uh oh, I can feel a landslide of comics coming down the pipe. Looks like the dam built up after the vacation has burst...

Transcript.
Title: Bureau Of Bailout
Big: Now that I have the $700 billion bailout fund, I think The Bureau of Bailout needs a new office.
Big: Hey kid. How much for the office building?
Kid: Well, I have an ARM (Adjustable Rate Mortgage) on it for $1.2 million that is set to adjust next month.
Big: Perfect. I can bail you out and get the office at the same time.
Kid: I'll take it and throw in a free lemonade for only $6.00.
Big: BOB is open for business, who's first?

Face Bigelow #66 - Bureau Of Bailout

Two days in a row, very impressive progress after a long hiatus.

Transcript:
Title: Bureau of Bailout
Big: Help! The economy is going to end if we don't get a $700 billion bailout started.
Victor: What are you going to do with the money?
Big: Solve the mortgage crisis!!??
Victor: Yes, but how?
Big: With $700 billion we can solve anything. We just have to get this Bureau Of Bailout created as soon as possible. Before it's too late!
Victor: Yes, I'm sure that house in the Hamptons will solve a lot of your problems, but what about the rest of America?

Face Bigelow #65 - Mortgage Solution

Wow, it has been a long time since I've done one of these. That must have been a good vacation because I wasn't inspired by any of this sort of news for such a long time. The other day a friend asked me about it and I said I just hadn't had any inspiration lately. His response, "What!!!???, Are you kidding, in this environment...". After I thought about it a little I this one came to mind. I'm not sure I really have the time to start this back up again, but I'll try to do one once in a while for the rest of the year. Maybe try to get to 100...?

Transcript:
Big: Hey Victor, I've figured out a way to solve the mortgage crisis.
Victor: Great, what is it?
Big: We create a new Bureau of Bailout. It will only cost $700 billion to setup.
Victor: ??!!??
Big: Anyone who gets swindled. (caugh) by my friends (caugh) will automatically get their money back.
Victor: Except of course the American tax payer..?