Face Bigelow #83 - Bureau Of Bailout Needs A Bailout...

This is completely insane. Paulson Backs off asset plan; crisis deals at risk. I agree with trying to put the train back on the tracks, but standing in front of it while it's still moving might not be the best idea after all. Did we all get sold an $800 Billion bottle of snake oil? Do we want to buy some more?

Transcript:
Big: We gave all the bailout money to the banks.
Big: None of it is going to relieve mortgage debt like we said it would.
Big: The banks are now hording the cash or using it to buy their competitors.
Victor: Your plan was to fix a greed problem by giving the greedy people more money?
Big: We need another bailout plan to bailout the first bailout plan.
Victor: Maybe we should stop and do an audit. Let's start with your account...

Face Bigelow #77 - Bad Debt

I understand making sure regular banks have capital and insuring deposits, but when we bail out investment banks and Wall Street companies that have serious financial problems is that really wise? Even if it hurts us all isn't it better to teach these firms and all their analysts who said everything was AAA a lesson? What message are we sending when we give them 75 billion one week, they throw a big party and ask for another 30 billion a few weeks later? Are we just covering an interest payment and making the problem even worse? What a mess.

Transcript
Big: Victor, you are my closest friend. We are almost like family.
Big: I've maxed out all 75 of my credit cards and have gone underwater on the seven homes I own.
Big: Would you be willing to take over all of that bad debt so I can get back to the spending spree?
Victor: Sorry Big. I keep my finances balanced. You'll have to talk to the Bureau of Bailout. They'll take it over. They are already doing that with Wall Street.

Face Bigelow #76 - AIG vacation

Inspired by real world events where AIG is caught spending tax payer money on an extravagant retreat. That's what I typically do when I'm on the brink of bankruptcy, plan a five star vacation...

Transcript
Big: Hey Victor. They bail out check is here.
Big: We are headed to California to spend some quality time deciding how to spend all the money.
Big: We can just wait out the crisis in style! No worries.
Big: Open bar, $600 rooms, everyone gets a massage... Crisis? What Crisis?
Victor: With the $85 billion from the government you could do this all winter. Great prep for your jail term...