Face Bigelow #57 - Face Time On Iraq

News inspired: Patraeus testimony on Iraq. Two days in a row, something must be wrong with me. I also changed the font back to Comic Sans against the wishes of the comic artist community at Half Pixel. They say it is overused and too amateurish, but I am an amateur and my drawing stinks so why not use a bad font too?

I really like Patraeus. When they were playing this live on NPR this morning I was listening to the questioning and wondering if these congressmen could ever get anything done. The questions were so long a drawn out I was ready for a nap by the time they asked a question that had already been answered. Things like this require satire.

Transcript:
Big: General Petraeus, I'm a congressman in Washington and I have the microphone, so I'm going to talk and maybe come up with a question...
Big: I like to talk really really slooow so I can make less decisions each day since most of them are bad decisions and run on sentences tend to slow the process even more...
Big: I would of course like to thank the men and women of the military, but let me get back to myself and maybe a question...
Big: Since I think I voted on this isue many many years ago, please tell me how it's going...
Petraeus: I answered that in my opening statement, but let me waste my time and repeat...

I don't know how Patraeus does it. He said he's been on duty away from home for four and a half years since this started. An extra two hours of senseless questions during this testimony would have to be the straw that breaks the camel's back!

Face Bigelow #56 - Cease Fire

News inspired by two events: The cease fire, The rocket fire.

Transcript:
Title: Islamist insurgent (I used this because it seemed to fit both al-sadr and hammas)
Big: We declare cease fire.
Rocket: Whoosh... Kaboom!
Victor: Was that a rocket?
Big: Why yes. Fired at infidel invaders.
Victor: Let me guess, it's a shaky cease fire, especially when the rocket lands...?

Face Bigelow #55 - ms. secretary

I found this Turkey, Rice news inspired strip on my desk last week. I guess I missed the boat as this is now old news and irrelevant, but don't think I'm not desperate enough to keep up with the blog that I won't resort to posting the irrelevant? You should have noticed that I am parodied in #50. Obviously I'm not all that gifted as an oracle since this event just sort of passed through the news and Turkey continues to attack the PKK in Iraq and no one seems to notice. So much for WWIII. Shows how little I really know and how irrelevant this comic really is! Obviously I think Rice is one of the main architects of the invasion and did it back climbing on one of my favorite leaders, Powell who resigned probably because of the decisions that were made, so I feel inclined to fit her in the comic even if it is irrelevant.

Transcript
Title: Secretary Of State
Media: Ms. Secretary. Turkey is launching attacks on Iraq and threatening WWIII. What is the status?
Big: Obviously this is a concern to the administration and we hope this is a short term incursion.
Media: Concern about WWIII or the term of the incursion?
Big: The term of the incursion. We don't want them to disrupt our record long occupation of Iraq. We're trying to get Guinness to verify our record.

Face Bigelow #54 - great orator

Font change. Comments appreciated. I think I liked the font better in the samples I took it from. Disappointed there is no lower case in it, but I could use some feedback.

News inspired by Clinton saying Obama is a great orator, but not a great leader.

Transcript:
Big: We don't want to choose a president based on oratory skill.
Big: We need a great business or military leader with proven experience.
Victor: Are you saying they will not make any mistakes because of their experience?
Big: Umm. No, but why does that matter?
Victor: At least if a good orator makes a bad decision it still sounds good.
Unknown voice from a familiar white building: Ya All. We're goin' ta war against terrorists in Irak to get rid of some evil dooers.

I mean no disrespect to the southern accent. That is not my intention. Just the wording alone is enough to drive me nuts, but the accent in the comic above is used more as a vocal identifier.

Face Bigelow #53 - vp speak 2.0

Transcript:
Big: Do mean to say that you don't think this was a successful endeavor?
Victor: No!
Big: What about the $500 billion that has been spent so far?
Victor: !!??!!
Victor: You mean the $500 billion that is causing growing inflation, the dollar to collapse and leading to economic uncertainty?
Big: A large portion of that went into my friend's pockets. I would call that a successful endeavor!

Discussion.
I almost didn't post this because it is just too far out of my normal thought mode. I don't believe this war was started to line pockets, but I find it hard to believe there is still some justification in calling it successful. Trust has been lost over the past three administrations and it's time to start admitting mistakes and moving on to fix them, not playing double speak and calling a complete failure a success. If we can't trust our leaders the system will not work.

Face Bigelow #52 - vp speak

Another news inspired comic.

Transcript:
Big: Millions of people have been displaced.
Big: Tens of thousands of civilians have been killed.
Big: Over 100,000 U.S. soldiers have been wounded and nearly 4000 killed.
Big: Violence continues, but I'm calling this a "successful endeavor".
Victor: What planet do you live on?

This is totally unfair on my part and I know the vp has his hands tied and trying to keep up morale on the ground. But since I have been in such disagreement with this administration I think it would be good to express my views so people don't think I'm just some ranting weirdo. I have disagreed with this war since the beginning. I wrote letters to my congress women and the president stating that going to war in Iraq would be a mistake and distract from the real mission in Afghanistan. Now my views have completely shifted and I don't think we should leave Iraq. We have caused so much distress to the people of the region that I don't think it we can leave any time soon without making it much much worse for these people.

I would like nothing more than to see all our soldiers out of Iraq, but not at the expense of a people who we have caused much suffering. When the U.S. pulled out of Vietnam, millions of people were slaughtered throughout the region. Iraq has this same potential and pulling out quickly would be a huge mistake and an immoral decision. We disbanded their entire security infrastructure, then fortified ourselves into large bases and allowed the citizens to fend for themselves. The recent tactics which have put us back on the streets is the real change that has lessened the violence, more soldiers on the streets, not just more soldiers.

So, what would I like the vp to say? "This has been a long road and a road that does lead our troops out of Iraq. We have a duty to support the Iraqi people and help them bring peace and security to their streets. The only winner can be the Iraqi people when they have a stable government and peaceful streets." At some point you need to move beyond defending a bad decision and move on to fixing the problems caused by that decision. Years have been spent defending the decision and only the past 8 months have shown any acknowledgment of changes required to move forward. The sound bites taken from this speech seem to be a complete reversal of recent progress.

So, those are my are my views in a nutshell.

Face Bigelow #46 - Secret! Secret! Secret!

Transcript:
Victor: Tell us again why we went into Iraq?
Big: That's Secret.
Victor: What about the torture of prisoners by the CIA?
Big: That's Secret Too.
Victor: What about the Katrina debacle?
Big: Secret!
Victor: What did you have for dinner last night?
Big: Secret! Secret! Secret!